Fandom: Supernatural, Grey's Anatomy (crossover)
Word Count: 1400
Characters/Pairing: Sam/Dean, Sam/Alex
Summary: AU from In My Time of Dying; John kills the demon, but at a horrible cost--Dean's gone too. It's not until his father leaves that Sam realizes that maybe Dean isn't as gone as he thought he was. But dealing with the restless spirit of his brother isn't easy, especially when Sam's relationship with a young doctor named Alex Karev is starting to flower.
Warnings: Angst, allusions to physical abuse.
Notes: Beta'd by the lovely writewanderlust. Title from The Weepies song of the same name.
The new nurse isn’t the first guy Alex has ever looked at, and he probably won’t be the last. After Izzie, he figures someone like that—brunette, huge, masculine—is exactly what he needs to get the bad taste out of his mouth that he’s had since his wife took off. He notices him a few times during rounds, and one day when he’s eating lunch in the cafeteria he catches the guy’s eye and gives him The Nod. The guy looks away, and Alex thinks he might be blushing a little, but he can’t really tell.
“Hey, Meredith. Who’s that?” He gestures to the guy with a sandwich half in his hand.
Meredith looks up from her salad and follows his line of sight. “That guy? He’s a new nurse, Sam Winchester. He used to be the night janitor.”
Alex makes a face, his interest vaporizing which he knows makes him an ass, buy hey, at least he’s honest.
“Yeah,” Meredith continues, “I’ve heard a lot about him. Really smart, apparently, and dead steady hands. I’ve heard a few people say he could probably be a surgeon if he wanted to. A little weird, though—pretty quiet. I heard his brother died here a few years ago, too.”
Alex nods, watching the guy—Sam—stand up and walk out of the cafeteria. He may or may not be mostly watching his ass. Meredith catches him looking and shakes her head.
“Alex, don’t go there. He’s a nice guy, and doesn’t need someone like you messing around with him like that. And after Izzie…”
“Don’t talk to me about Izzie,” Alex snaps. He snatches his leftovers up from the table and throws them into the garbage with more force than strictly necessary, and leaves the cafeteria without looking back at Meredith.
Over the next week, Alex makes a point of running into Sam. He pours on his heavy charm—a practiced mix of cocky confidence and subtle sweetness. At first, Sam is completely professional and polite, almost scarily so, but after a few days of casual touches and shameless flirting, Sam starts to open up some. He relaxes and laughs and Alex thinks he might be addicted to his dimples, just a little.
When he asks Sam to get some drinks with him at the end of the week, he says yes. The two men match each other drink for drink and talk about nothing important. At the end of the night they end up back at the hospital—Alex has an early set of rounds to do, and he’s not entirely sure why Sam came back—but they have a quick go in an on-call room before they part ways. Sam is clearly experienced and is almost unnervingly intense in his actions, but when they’re done, he gets dressed and leaves with nothing more than a small smile.
Alex’s kind of guy.
Alex and Sam start spending a lot of time together. He doesn’t realize it until Cristina and Meredith call him out on it, because it’s nothing serious, not really. Sam’s a cool guy, they get along well, and they both have a good time blowing off some steam. And Sam’s probably the first person he’s been with in a long time that isn’t fucking crazy.
They don’t always have sex, though. Sometimes they’ll just hang out in the bar or go for drives in the kick ass muscle car that Sam says he’s had forever. They talk, sure, but never about anything too heavy. Sam’s mentioned his brother, Dean, a couple times, and Alex told Sam about Izzie once, just a little, and that had been that. Alex is just glad that Sam doesn’t seem any more anxious than he is to have any deep heart to hearts or spread wide their pasts.
One night, though, Alex is walking through the halls, exhausted after a long surgery, and it's late. It’s pretty empty, since it’s like three in the morning, and he almost yells when he runs into someone turning a corner. He puts his hands out to steady himself and looks up, shocked to see Sam standing there in front of him, pale and practically shaking.
“Holy shit, Sam, what the fuck? Are you okay?”
And Sam looks up at him with these eyes that are such a startling mix of grief and shock and hopelessness that Alex feels it deep down in his gut. They’re the same eyes he remembers his mom having, and Rebecca, and Izzie, right after Denny died. He looks straight into them and feels the old urge to fix it and he doesn’t know what to do, because it was never supposed to turn into this.
Sam stares at him for another few seconds, like he’s not sure if Alex is real or not, before he shakes his head.
“Yeah, no,” he stammers, “I’m fine. I was…I’m sorry, it was stupid. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He starts to turn around to leave, and Alex grabs his forearm, stopping him. Sam looks up at him with wide, child-like eyes.
“Hey, Sam, it’s okay, man. What’s up?”
Then, to his horror, Sam starts crying. Alex isn’t really sure what to do, so he looks around and leads Sam into an empty room. He sits him down on the bed and sits down next to him and takes Sam into his arms. Sam’s arms immediately wrap around him, hands fisting in Alex’s scrubs, and Alex lets him cry until he’s breathing slow and heavy, wrung out.
“Sam? You okay?”
Sam slowly pulls away, dragging a hand over tired eyes, and nods. He doesn’t meet Alex’s eyes, clearly embarrassed. “Yeah.
“Hey,” Alex says. He wants to cup Sam’s face, make Sam look at him, but he doesn’t. “It’s fine. No big deal, okay?”
Sam tries to smile, and he nods, and then he gets up and walks out of the room, leaving Alex sitting on the bed, wondering what the fuck just happened.
Sam refuses to talk about what happened that night, which is just fine with Alex, thank you very much. They fall back into their fun, light rhythm, and Alex even starts inviting Sam to sit with the rest of the group when they both have a break at the same time. Meredith takes to Sam well, and Cristina and Sam exchange witty, biting remarks like their lives depend on it, but Alex catches Cristina smiling down at her food a couple times. He’s happy; things haven’t been this easy for him in a long time.
And then Sam shows up one day with a bruise across his cheek that Alex knows has to hurt like a bitch. Alex tries to ask him about it, but Sam clams up, snaps that it’s none of his business, which, okay, is fair. They’re not in a relationship or anything, so it’s really not. But then Sam starts getting more bruises, some of them in weird places. He can’t really make out what’s causing them—it’s nothing regular at least—but it’s obvious something’s up.
One day, when they’re in bed together and he catches Sam wincing only to look down and see his hand on a bruise across Sam’s lower back. It's starting to freak him out, so Alex tries to bring it up again.
“You know, Sam, if someone’s messing with you, you can tell me. Not that you couldn’t take them on your own, as big as you are. But still. You need some help, you let me know.”
“It’s not like that, Alex.”
“Then what’s it like?”
“Just drop it.” Sam’s voice is hard and icy, unlike anything he’s heard from the man before. He looks down at Sam for a minute before pressing his lips to Sam’s shoulder in silent agreement.
He isn’t Sam’s mother; if Sam wanted to tell him, he would.